A Heart More Focused

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Falling asleep on the job…

May 2, 2010 By Erika Zane

2 May

>So I know it’s been forever since I’ve updated my blog… but I have a reasonable explanation: I really needed the past couple of weeks to get into a routine! This week I’ve been trying to get baby Dylan on a sleep schedule because after a couple of rough days (thanks to travel and then my chocolate addiction) we were both a little sleep deprived.

Thankfully things seem to be getting a little smoother now (either that or I’m just getting used to the chaos!) My husband was awesome this past weekend with letting me catch up on some much needed sleep when Dylan decided to be wide awake at 3-4 am two nights in a row! Last night (Sunday – when I started this post) I was prepared for the 3 or 4 AM wake up because I took a two and a half hour nap with Dylan in the late afternoon, and guess what, I woke up at 4 am but Dylan didn’t (until I accidentally woke him up)!

Anyway, with establishing a sleep schedule, comes plenty of contemplative alone time where I was unable to leave the house because I wanted him to get some good quiet sleep, without any distractions since EVERYTHING catches his attention now! Gone are the days of carting him around all day and knowing that he’ll fall asleep on his own 🙁 Oh well!

So with all this contemplative “down time” (time I’ve spent soothing Dylan to sleep or watching him sleep) I’ve been thinking about perspective. As I sat around (feeling sorry for myself much of the time) it ocured to me that there are two ways to look at life – you can either be responsible for your life or you can be a victim. I would prefer to be responsible for it. Now I don’t mean that I think I can control everything about my life – no one can do that – but I believe I can look at my situation in life and be accountable for both the things I’ve done well as well as the mistakes I’ve made. It amazes me how many get out of debt commercials there are out there telling the American public that it’s not our fault we’re in debt… that the credit companies have taken advantage of us… poor us!

In some respects it is somewhat easier to view life as happening to us rather than admitting that we make mistakes, but not really. I mean, don’t you think it’s depressing to believe that the world is against you and everyone is taking advantage of you? I do, I find it much more refreshing to take responsibility for my mistakes because that gives me more control over my life. After all, NO ONE is perfect, we all make mistakes and really what do we deserve in life? NOTHING! We don’t deserve a single thing we have in life and isn’t that cool? There are just so many things to be thankful for!

So I vow from here on out to be thankful to my savior, my God for all the many blessings he has given me in life and take responsibility for my mistakes so I don’t make them over and over again!

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Filed Under: Faith, thankfulness

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About me

Hello and welcome.  It’s been a while.  For Lent this year I decided to fast from the thing that took too much of my attention from what is truly important: Social Media.  Though there are countless amazing benefits to Social Media, after about a month offline so far, there are seemingly just as many negatives.  I never realized how much of my brain had been hijacked by it.  I’ve had so many revelations about how much easier it is to move forward when I’m not constantly reminded of the past.  But I still want to record my family as they grow at this ridiculous speed and, I’m realizing, so many of our family’s memories are here.  Those along with so many of the struggles and stages we’ve worked through.  Maybe in the midst of COVID19 isolation and my kids around me so often, I’m brought back to a time when they were too young for school and with me so often.  Writing here during that time helped make up for the limited adult conversation in my days and the overwhelm provided by my… little treasures 😉 My husband, fur babies, three fiesty kids, and I hereby extend an invitation to visit this little sneak peak into our life. We’re super flawed and broken and there aren’t too many dull moments around here.  And I promise it’s not always as magical as some of my golden hour, sun-soaked images would suggest.  There’s usually too much coffee in my system and we welcome all the prayers.  Come on over if you want to process with me.

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