A Heart More Focused

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Conflicting Emotions

June 30, 2010 By Erika Zane

30 Jun

Yesterday, as Diana from Hormonal Imbalances wrote about, I went to see her (my best friend).  She lives almost three hours away from me and I took the baby and the dog and drove out for the day.  I did this because we’re moving in exactly a week and I wanted to make sure I got to see her mom and dad and introduce Dylan AND, most importantly, spend a special day with her.


I feel the same way… sometimes life just isn’t fair!  We have been waiting for things to work out with them being able to move closer for about two years and, now that they’re finally moving to where we live, we are moving away!


I am so conflicted about how I feel right now! I have already talked about this in the past as a hypothetical but, now it’s real…


There are so many great things that will come out of this move:
We will be closer to both families and many of the friends with whom we attended high school and college.  Andy will finally have the kind of job he has been working towards in his career for a while now.  We will be in a more walkable area (what’s your walk score?  Ours will be changing from 18/100 to 89/100), we will be renting, and our place will be about half the size (talk about downsizing!) and, as a result, we will be more fit as a family because we will walk more places and will have more time to spend as a family (when Andy’s not at work)!

But then there’s the part that breaks my heart:

We will be leaving the first HOME we have made as a family.  We will be leaving the first real church family we have ever had.  Dylan won’t grow up with Bella, Calla, Elli, or Peyton (his girlfriends… most of my friends had girls!).  Dylan won’t remember this house, this neighborhood, or our church.  We just started to really get to know our neighbors (yes, it’s been two whole years and this is just now happening AND we still haven’t met some of them) and we won’t know ANYONE in our complex :*(  I also have no idea if there will be a lot of other moms for me and kids for Dylan.


So, though I am SO excited for this new episode of our lives and I have faith in God that he is leading us in the direction we need to take, I am also terrified!  I can’t sleep at all, I have NO patience in the car (sorry Mr. Camper driver who I beeped at like a crazy lady and flipped off when I finally got around you yesterday), and I feel completely nauseous 24/7.



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Filed Under: life changes, Moving

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Comments

  1. sassyshell says

    June 30, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    >I am SO excited for you two! We'll be back Sunday midday, when are you leaving exactly? I hope we can get together and if not, will look forward to visiting! 🙂

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About me

Hello and welcome.  It’s been a while.  For Lent this year I decided to fast from the thing that took too much of my attention from what is truly important: Social Media.  Though there are countless amazing benefits to Social Media, after about a month offline so far, there are seemingly just as many negatives.  I never realized how much of my brain had been hijacked by it.  I’ve had so many revelations about how much easier it is to move forward when I’m not constantly reminded of the past.  But I still want to record my family as they grow at this ridiculous speed and, I’m realizing, so many of our family’s memories are here.  Those along with so many of the struggles and stages we’ve worked through.  Maybe in the midst of COVID19 isolation and my kids around me so often, I’m brought back to a time when they were too young for school and with me so often.  Writing here during that time helped make up for the limited adult conversation in my days and the overwhelm provided by my… little treasures 😉 My husband, fur babies, three fiesty kids, and I hereby extend an invitation to visit this little sneak peak into our life. We’re super flawed and broken and there aren’t too many dull moments around here.  And I promise it’s not always as magical as some of my golden hour, sun-soaked images would suggest.  There’s usually too much coffee in my system and we welcome all the prayers.  Come on over if you want to process with me.

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