Here’s M’s guest post! I’m so honored to have her write a blog post for me! She is a very talented writer! Enjoy!
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Becoming My Mother
Since this blog is all about mamas, I thought it would be great to take the opportunity and talk about my Mom ? I love my Mom. I grew up watching her every move, learning from everything she did and said, as well as from what she didn’t do and didn’t say! I spent a lot of time figuring out how I wanted to be like her as well as how I wanted to do things differently. I’ve always been her “different” child, wanting to do things my own way, not quite like anyone else, which probably confused her but she loved me regardless and as I’ve become a mom myself, we understand each other more and more.
So, here are some things about her I love and some things about her that have inspired me to do it my way!
Taking care of people – besides being a nurse and knowing how to take care of people that way, Mom showed me how to treat others. She showed me how a simple call to keep in touch can make all the difference, and how little things like sending a handwritten note or picking up a little something that you know they would really enjoy can really make someone’s day. She is so good at taking care of the people in her life, and I try my best to be like her in this way.
On the flip side, I don’t think Mom takes good enough care of herself. It’s so easy to let care of yourself slide, make time to do the things you enjoy, guarding that time for yourself and making sure your needs are met, so that is something I try very hard to keep in mind for myself, because while I want to take care of people in my life, my family, my friends, I don’t want to forget to take care of myself in the same loving way. It’s incredibly easy to let yourself be the absolute last thing on the to-do list, but I know if that happens, I won’t be able to be the best parent I can be. So, I’ll be trying hard to take care of myself as well as the rest of the family!
I grew up looking at my Mom and my Aunt and thinking that they were beautiful women, just as they were. But they never thought so, which I couldn’t understand. Both of them would talk about how they looked so much better when they were younger, before they had kids, before they gained weight, etc, etc, etc. I still look at them and think they are such beautiful women, strong, intelligent, full of warmth, love and kindness. It was confusing to me as a kid to say, Mom, you’re beautiful, and to see her smile and say thank you, but also see the little subtle signs that she didn’t believe it. She and my Aunt were never comfortable in their skin, and would try different diets or programs to try and change their bodies, but it would never stick. As a result, I am so completely against dieting or programs or anything. If I want to change my body (which I would like to!), it is going to be a lifestyle change, gradual and step by step. I would like to lose weight, but not just because I want to weigh a certain amount. I want to be healthy and active, so I can play with my children and model for them healthy eating, being active outside in sports and play, etc. I have tried really hard to love and appreciate my body for what it is; healthy, fully functional, and allowing me to live the life I want. Sure there are things I could complain about, but I try really hard not to worry about those things. When my little girl says to me, Mom, you’re beautiful, I want to accept the compliment whole heartedly, so that she gets the message that you can love yourself and your body just the way it is!
My Mom has a hard time bringing up things that bother her and talking through them. Our whole family does, really. Instead, we’d hang on to things until there was a really big argument, bring it all out, get upset and then ignore it until things cooled off and pretend it never happened. Not the best coping mechanism! Because of that, I have worked hard to be up front and transparent when it comes to disagreements. If something is upsetting me, I want to talk about it, clear it up, and then move on. That’s not to say I bring up every little tiny thing that bugs me, but I try to not store things away only to have them fester and get worse. It’s not always easy, but it works so much better than the old habit. It’s something we all work on as a family, and I think it will only get easier the more I do it.
Since becoming a mother, my Mom has been my biggest cheerleader. She is always there for me, to hear the good and the bad, to hear the joy and the tears. She is behind me 1000%, and it has made a world of difference. It’s
one thing to know, before having a baby, that it will be challenging and difficult and push you to your limit. It’s another thing entirely to be there, at that limit, full of anger and frustration and tears, feeling so alone and upset. I know when I am at that moment I can call my Mom at any time of the day or night, and she will be there for me.
one thing to know, before having a baby, that it will be challenging and difficult and push you to your limit. It’s another thing entirely to be there, at that limit, full of anger and frustration and tears, feeling so alone and upset. I know when I am at that moment I can call my Mom at any time of the day or night, and she will be there for me.
That’s really the root, the core of it. No matter how different or similar we may be, my Mom has always been there for me, and I want that for my little girl. No matter what, I will always love her and be there for her, and I hope she gets that message, loud and clear. My Mom is such a big part of how I grew up and become the woman and mother that I am, and I hope that I can in turn, inspire and encourage my little girl as she grows up and becomes her own person.
Thanks, Mom!
