I don’t usually watch the local news, especially right before bed. Last night, however, the TV stayed on for a few minutes while I talked to my husband after watching an episode of Glee. I was just about to shut off the TV when the first story of the night caught my attention: Boulder mother arrested in death of 6-month-old infant… and my heart stopped for a moment.
So here I am with an urge to put my thoughts out there. I’m not even really sure what my feelings are. First of all, who can even comprehend the murder of a 6-month-old by his mother? But most of all… what must have gone through and be going through that woman’s head? I mean, what mother (no matter what mental state) can live with the fact that she killed her own baby?
This story and my feelings reminded me of a conversation I had with my masseuse, B, (no I don’t get regular massages but, when I do go get a massage, this is the woman I go to) about how scary it is when parents snap like this. We were talking about how pacifiers never stay in babies’ mouths and she said that her husband found an article about a woman who actually duct taped her baby’s pacifier to her baby’s mouth (YES the mother was arrested AND YES the baby is okay – thank you Lord). It is so scary to think that ALL that separates these people from me is self control. No, I haven’t thought about duct taping a pacifier to my baby’s mouth and I certainly have not thought about murdering my child, but we all have probably had some pretty strange thoughts at 2 in the morning (as the instructor for my newborn care class said so well, “what’s said at 2AM, stays at 2AM”). Thankfully most of us also have the sanity or self control or whatever to shake our heads at those thoughts.
Well, there’s really nothing more to say and, not suprisingly, I still feel sick about this story because it’s just not something anyone can really make sense of. I am so unbelievably sad for this family and the people who knew them.
Lord, please watch over the people who knew and loved Rylan and help them to get through this tragedy. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.