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Does My Voice Not Happen?!

July 17, 2010 By Erika Zane

17 Jul

The title of this post is actually meant to make my dad laugh, which is probably silly considering he doesn’t really read my blog. But hey, that sort of works out… you’ll see what I mean 😉

Right before we moved, we had to sell my office set (a remnant of the days of working from home in the not so distant past). It was a really nice quality desk and credenza and I put it on Craigslist for a ridiculously low price (because I got it for a crazy price a couple of years ago). Side note: Yay Craigslist!  If you want something to move quickly on craigslist, price it at least 50% below what you think it’s worth.

As I watched the couple who bought the desk try to get it into their truck, I noticed something (No, I’m not dense. This is not the first time I’ve made this observation).  Men often do not hear women when they speak.  Especially if they are in the middle of trying to do something that requires focus.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know it’s hard for people to hear other people in general when they are focused on something, but especially so if it is a woman talking to a man.

I remember hearing about a study a while back that focused on why women still struggled, to some extent, in Corporate America.  The conclusion was that men have trouble focusing in on women’s voices.  I think that study may have been on to something.  I noticed several times, in a group setting of any kind, another woman or I would say something which would get no reaction and then two seconds later a man would say the EXACT same thing and everyone acted as if it was the first time they had heard this idea/observation/insite.

OK, so here is what I observed from that couple with the desk and credenza:
The ramp was set up to walk the desk up to the bed of the truck using a furniture dolly.  The man (who was wearing sandals btw – with socks of course 🙂 ), decided it was a good idea to try to walk backwards up the ramp (with absolutely no traction) pulling the dolly.  Surprise, surprise – he slipped and fell and probably sprained his ankle as he was limping after that.  He was about to try the same thing again (yes really!), so his wife/girlfriend decided to try to stop him and present another idea before he hurt himself again.  She must have said his name AT LEAST five times before she finally got his attention, which is around the time that my husband spoke up and suggested he listen to her (coincidence?).

Anyway, I do wonder if it is possible that it is not a genetic incapacity for hearing women’s voices but just selective hearing.  What do you think?  Do you think I’m crazy or do you think there’s another explanation?

As for the title of this post: this is a sentence that popped out of my mouth quite a few times when I was trying to interject during one of my father’s dinnertime mini-lectures.  I love you dad!

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Filed Under: Family Tagged With: communication, gender battles, life

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Comments

  1. Michelle says

    July 20, 2010 at 11:13 pm

    There have been studies showing that the frequency of a woman’s voice is either out of normal listening range for men or that is actually fades into the background, as time goes on. SO damn frustrating! Definitely not a great part of life as a wife/girlfriend/daughter.

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About me

Hello and welcome.  It’s been a while.  For Lent this year I decided to fast from the thing that took too much of my attention from what is truly important: Social Media.  Though there are countless amazing benefits to Social Media, after about a month offline so far, there are seemingly just as many negatives.  I never realized how much of my brain had been hijacked by it.  I’ve had so many revelations about how much easier it is to move forward when I’m not constantly reminded of the past.  But I still want to record my family as they grow at this ridiculous speed and, I’m realizing, so many of our family’s memories are here.  Those along with so many of the struggles and stages we’ve worked through.  Maybe in the midst of COVID19 isolation and my kids around me so often, I’m brought back to a time when they were too young for school and with me so often.  Writing here during that time helped make up for the limited adult conversation in my days and the overwhelm provided by my… little treasures 😉 My husband, fur babies, three fiesty kids, and I hereby extend an invitation to visit this little sneak peak into our life. We’re super flawed and broken and there aren’t too many dull moments around here.  And I promise it’s not always as magical as some of my golden hour, sun-soaked images would suggest.  There’s usually too much coffee in my system and we welcome all the prayers.  Come on over if you want to process with me.

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