A Heart More Focused

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SAHM vs Career Mamma

July 22, 2010 By Erika Zane

22 Jul

In my last post I said I am now unsure about being a SAHM.  I am not anymore, but I thought I would explore what was going through my mind.  I know not all moms have the option to stay at home and I also realize that not all moms want to stay at home and I really don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to raise your kids.  I think, in general, most parents know what is best for their children.

I was raised by a SAHM.  My mom always told me that, that was the best job in the world and one she had looked forward to her whole life.  So when my husband and I decided to have a baby, I knew I wanted to be a SAHM too.  My mom and I have always been VERY close and I wanted to have that same relationship with my children.

When I was pregnant, however, I had a very flexible job where I was able to work from home, I had a natural aptitude for the line of work I was in, and I earned a very good income.  Needless to say, I had a hard time rationalizing the need to resign so I could be a full time mamma, so I didn’t.  I went back to work after six weeks and began to regret that decision about three weeks later.

I had Dylan in part-time day care five days a week, which really didn’t bother me, but I was sleep deprived, stressed out, and having trouble keeping up with work and household chores!  So I talked to my boss about switching to a part-time schedule.  I really thought he would go for it since I was a good employee, we had a good working relationship, and the budget was tight.  I thought we would just decide on a different salary and working hours and that would be it, but I was wrong.  He was willing to be flexible with my schedule as far as what hours I worked, but his experience with part-time workers had left him unwilling to go that route.  Anyway, the point is, I was overwhelmed and I wanted to be home anyway, so I quit.

We are in a different situation now.  We have a much smaller place (less than half the size) and Dylan is taking good naps and sleeping through the night on a fairly consistent basis.  Combine that with not knowing any other SAHMs in the area AND someone trying to recruit me to go back to consulting, and that is why I started to have second thoughts.

So let me tell you why I am no longer having second thoughts:
First of all, I think the idea of someone wanting me in the corporate world was exciting but that excitement would wear off within a few hours.  Second of all, the bond I have with my son grows stronger everyday.  When nothing in his world is going right, he turns to me because I am a constant in his life and I LOVE that!  I realize that daycare helps a child learn how to socialize with other children and I know it helps academically as well, but it’s important to me that I get to be a full-time influence in his life and we live in a community where I believe he’ll be exposed to plenty of other children and learning opportunities.

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Filed Under: baby, Career, Family, life changes, motherhood, Parenting, SAHM Tagged With: attachment parenting, Education, socialization

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Comments

  1. Ashley Henry says

    July 23, 2010 at 12:57 am

    I am SO glad you decided to stay home! Now you just need to find some at home momma friends…..there has got to be some out there!! Miss you!

Trackbacks

  1. Mona Lisa Smile, Or Do Whatever You Want says:
    July 14, 2011 at 9:53 am

    […] and then, once I decided to focus on motherhood and resigned from my full-time career, the internal debate over whether I made the correct decision in the months that […]

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About me

Hello and welcome.  It’s been a while.  For Lent this year I decided to fast from the thing that took too much of my attention from what is truly important: Social Media.  Though there are countless amazing benefits to Social Media, after about a month offline so far, there are seemingly just as many negatives.  I never realized how much of my brain had been hijacked by it.  I’ve had so many revelations about how much easier it is to move forward when I’m not constantly reminded of the past.  But I still want to record my family as they grow at this ridiculous speed and, I’m realizing, so many of our family’s memories are here.  Those along with so many of the struggles and stages we’ve worked through.  Maybe in the midst of COVID19 isolation and my kids around me so often, I’m brought back to a time when they were too young for school and with me so often.  Writing here during that time helped make up for the limited adult conversation in my days and the overwhelm provided by my… little treasures 😉 My husband, fur babies, three fiesty kids, and I hereby extend an invitation to visit this little sneak peak into our life. We’re super flawed and broken and there aren’t too many dull moments around here.  And I promise it’s not always as magical as some of my golden hour, sun-soaked images would suggest.  There’s usually too much coffee in my system and we welcome all the prayers.  Come on over if you want to process with me.

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