About a year ago (give or take a few months), as an out of shape and sleep deprived new SAHM, I had a lot of time to myself to think. I had a SAHM friend who had just discovered blogging and was really enjoying it, but I held back because I had a bad feeling about it. I had qualms about what blogging would do to my perspective.
I should start by saying: believe it or not, I am hyper-aware of my own shortcomings and I know I can be a pain in the butt. I also believe it is my responsibility to know my own sinful nature and listen to the Holy Spirit’s guidance as to what I should avoid.
So, when it comes to blogging I am constantly trying to check myself. I think it can walk a fine line between informative and egotistical to make your life an open book online and encourage others to read it, especially with all the other social networking sites already out there.
But then, my friend Michelle (who I met through the midwifery where I delivered Dylan), and I were talking about what we liked to do in our spare time and she brought up blogging. She had several blogs she liked to read and one that she authored as well. She also encouraged me to start my own and start reading a few.
With two friends encouraging me, the temptation to start my own grew stronger. Especially given I wanted to be a columnist or a journalist when I was younger and had minored in English Literature in college. Blogging really sounded like the perfect way to see if I could “cut it” as a writer!
So I did. I brainstormed creative blog titles and, admittedly in admiration of the blog name Melodromamma, decided I too could find a fitting word in which I could attach the word “mamma”. I had, had an established yoga practice with just under 200 hours of yoga teacher training under my belt and that is how I came up with the word and started writing.
But, I tried to narrow the focus and define some boundaries, which only deterred me from writing at all. How could I expect to gain anything through blogging, while filtering myself, when the purpose is to connect with other mothers and reassure each other that our struggles (for the most part) are shared?
So, what’s the point? If you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know that I’ve been anything but consistent because I haven’t decided on my commitment level. Yup, it’s been a year and I still don’t know…
On a brief side note: In all honesty, I think it’s really a pretty good reflection of my personality. Not as far as being able to make decisions, because I actually like making decisions, but as far as fully committing to one course of action over all others. I think, if you want to know more about yourself, start logging your life in some way, shape, or form, whether a blog or an old fashioned journal.
So, where do I go from here? I’m not sure, but I’m thinking about it. I may stop blogging, or I may finally commit fully… either way, I’ll stop writing about what this blog is and either update it or shut it down.