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A Random Jog Induced Revelation

April 4, 2011 By Erika Zane

4 Apr

I went for a jog today (go me!) and I came to a realization as my thoughts wandered freely for a whole TWENTY minutes 🙂  This “revelation” is not all that profound, but it has escaped my attention until today.

This time of year was my favorite season in Colorado and I have found myself reminiscing a lot lately.  I keep asking myself, “Why did we move?”.  I miss the weather!  I miss our first house!  I miss our friends!  I miss EVERYTHING!

So, why did we move?

I thought we moved for selfish reasons, but the more I think about it, the more I realize they weren’t (at least not entirely).  I am not a selfless person by any means, but the reason we moved back east is clear to me every time I watch Dylan with his aunt, uncles, and grandparents.  We moved for him.  I mean, we now have the added bonus of a family support system, but we were not without somewhat of a support system out west.

That being said, I know it is possible that someday Dylan will ask me why we ever left Colorado.  He may want to move back and not understand how this could have been for him.  If so, it will be because he has romanticized the idea of living somewhere foreign to him.  I think this because those were my questions with regards to why my parents left Boston.  Surely Boston was more exciting than New Jersey!

In retrospect, my New Jersey childhood with grandparents and family nearby was amazing!  I was so spoiled and I had no idea!

Becoming a parent has given me a new perspective into the decisions of my parents.  I still don’t understand every decision they made, but I’m sure that will change over time. 

My dad once told me, “No matter how much we drive you crazy now, one day you will be just like us.  Every person becomes his/her parents in the end.”.  I don’t agree 100% percent with that statement, as I think one can avoid making some of the mistakes his/her parents made (i.e. I do not believe that someone who grew up with an addict must become an addict someday because, ultimately, each person retains the responsibility for his/her own life).  I do, however, believe I will raise Dylan in a very similar manner to the way I was raised.  In the words of Savage Garden from their song Affirmation, “I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do” and, for the most part, my parents’ way is the best job I know how to do.  Wish me luck! 😉

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Comments

  1. sassyshell says

    April 5, 2011 at 5:47 am

    I am glad your move worked out so well! Being near family is wonderful, and Dylan will enjoy and appreciate it as he grows up. Colorado is always a great place for a vacation! 🙂

  2. Erika says

    April 7, 2011 at 10:00 am

    Definitely! I'm hoping to come out in about a month! 🙂

Trackbacks

  1. Project Smile: So Many Blessings Worth Smiling about! says:
    October 10, 2011 at 12:29 am

    […] have so much fun now that we live closer to both our families.  I love watching Dylan interact with […]

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About me

Hello and welcome.  It’s been a while.  For Lent this year I decided to fast from the thing that took too much of my attention from what is truly important: Social Media.  Though there are countless amazing benefits to Social Media, after about a month offline so far, there are seemingly just as many negatives.  I never realized how much of my brain had been hijacked by it.  I’ve had so many revelations about how much easier it is to move forward when I’m not constantly reminded of the past.  But I still want to record my family as they grow at this ridiculous speed and, I’m realizing, so many of our family’s memories are here.  Those along with so many of the struggles and stages we’ve worked through.  Maybe in the midst of COVID19 isolation and my kids around me so often, I’m brought back to a time when they were too young for school and with me so often.  Writing here during that time helped make up for the limited adult conversation in my days and the overwhelm provided by my… little treasures 😉 My husband, fur babies, three fiesty kids, and I hereby extend an invitation to visit this little sneak peak into our life. We’re super flawed and broken and there aren’t too many dull moments around here.  And I promise it’s not always as magical as some of my golden hour, sun-soaked images would suggest.  There’s usually too much coffee in my system and we welcome all the prayers.  Come on over if you want to process with me.

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