Often, as I spend time with other moms, I find myself wondering what I’m doing wrong. I see how their child goes down for a nap without protest or enjoys playing in his/her playpen for a while, neither of which my son does and I cannot help but second guess myself.
Before I had Little Man, I had very high expectations of other parents and children. I would see a child running around a store touching everything and say to myself, “that won’t be my child”. When my mom was privy to those criticisms, she would tell me, she looked forward to hearing my opinion after I had children.
Well, I’m now here to say: I was wrong. My child is *that* child running around the store trying to touch EVERYTHING. And, I am that mother who halfheartedly tells him to stop until he looks like he is going to actually cause some damage or hurt himself.
So, now that I am the mom that I used to be so critical of, I can’t help but feel slightly insecure anyway, nonetheless when I see other moms make everything seem effortless. I do realize that motherhood is not really “effortless” for anyone but, you have to admit, some mothers make it look that way.
All I know is I ABSOLUTELY ADORE my child and every.single.breath he takes. I watch him sing, dance, eat, and sleep and I COMPLETELY MELT! I want to give him the world and I sometimes worry that I will hold him back. But, as I was reminded by two other moms on twitter tonight, I need to remember that all I can do is my best to be a gentle, loving, encouraging mother and that is enough.
I’m not superhuman. I am a sinful, flawed human being trying to make it through everyday, one prayer at a time. AND I need to always remember the blessing of my child’s personality (pure perfection) to my life. What a truly AMAZING blessing that God chose me to be his mother. I know my son and what he needs and in the end I need to remain true to myself in how I parent.
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)
“To thine own self be true” William Shakespeare