Occasionally, I listen to the local Christian Radio station out of NYC. One day, a month or so ago, I heard an advertisement for a midwifery practice in which the woman, speaking about her birth experiences with them, said she felt they helped her keep God in the birth experience. It stuck with me.
I gave birth to Little Man at a free standing Midwifery clinic in Colorado. I loved it. I never thought I would go that route. Really. N-e-v-e-r. I have an unusually low tolerance for pain and stress on my body. I can’t even keep track of the number of times I’ve lost consciousness due to a relatively minor injury, like a random sharp pain on my arm in the early morning (yes, that really happened). Then I watched “The Business Of Being Born” and it changed things for me.
I really do feel that my first birth at the midwifery helped me fully incorporate God into my birth experience. The midwives helped me trust that God gave me a body that could handle the delivery of my son without intervention; something I never believed I could (or might want to) do before.
As my husband and I contemplate our next child, I find myself sad that we no longer live near that birth center. I miss them. I felt so incredibly empowered and nurtured throughout the entire year that made up my birth experience (9 months prenatal and then 3 months postpartum). My prenatal visits were slow paced, laid back visits where the midwife asked a few questions, I felt comfortable asking all sorts of questions without feeling silly, and there was a brief exam that was generally limited to a belly measurement and listening to the baby’s heartbeat. When it came time for delivery, I was free to choose any position and location I wanted and the only people in the room were the midwife, the nurse, and my husband. I never felt crowded or overexposed (despite the fact that I took off all my clothes – another thing I never, ever in a million years thought I would do). Immediately following my delivery, though I was sent home within four hours, I felt incredibly supported. The midwives called to check on me, I had an in-home appointment two days following my delivery, and, for my entire year postpartum, I felt completely comfortable calling them with any question, any time of day, with the knowledge that I would always be treated with love and respect.
Where I live now, with no local free standing birth centers, my options are more limited. I could go the more mainstream route, with a doctor and a hospital, or I could choose a midwife and deliver in a hospital or at home. The hospital option, whether with a doctor or midwife, scares me a little. My idea of a hospital birth is: people hovering around me in an overcrowded room with bad lighting and less freedom of movement and choices. After my first experience, I’m sure you can imagine why this picture might cause alarm. I do also know, however, that my mental picture of a “typical hospital birth” is not necessarily completely accurate. I, unfortunately, have also not heard many accounts that make a hospital birth sound much different. [If you have one that will help me change that mental image, please share it!]
Whatever choice I ultimately make, I know God is everywhere and he is just as much a part of a hospital birth as any other. I just hope that when my second child is born, I have the same awesome experience and am, again, able to feel God’s presence in my delivery.
I birthed Grace in a hospital with a midwife and had a very positive experience! I guess it all depends on the midwife. Do you know any crunchy gals in your area who might be able to recommend a CNM (certified nurse midwife)? Mine works as part of a larger obgyn practice. Wish you lived in MI so you could use my Wendy! I have 2 friends who are currently pregnant and are using Wendy instead of the doctors who delivered their first children…I’m trying to convert everyone 🙂
Thanks Rebecca. I wish I could use your midwife too! I know a few local crunchy moms. I’ll have to ask around more when the time comes! 🙂
regardless of what option you choose, it is the most important to know that you have informed consent and informed refusal! choose a caregiver who makes you feel the most confidant and empowered about your body! And if your ever do not feel that way you can change your mind and birth somewhere else! Just believe that You will have an equally wonderful birth experience with your next little bean!
Thanks Ashley! 🙂 You’re so right.
I birthed all 3 of mine in the hospital — Violet w/ an epi, and Sarah and John med free and w/ the docs totally on the other side of the room untill the last possible moment. I educated myself BIG time after Violet’s birth and a BAD epi, on how to do a natural hospital birth w/ little to no medical intervention. Our hospital doesn’t have midwives and the local midwives here won’t even let you hire them to be with you there — they dislike this particular hospital so much. Art couldn’t get his mind around the free standing birth center, so it was the only choice. I have a ton of tips to share, if you want. And I TOTALLY loved my births. I’d do it again in a heart beat if I could!
Wow, cool! I think I could handle a birth with doctors on the other side of the room for most of the labor 🙂 Thank you Kim! I would *love* your advice!
Even if I plan for a home birth the next time around, there are so many restrictions around that process, it is possible I will have no other choice. That, and I may just choose a hospital if Hubby and I aren’t comfortable with the local home birth options. I do know, though he wants to be as supportive as possible, the home birth idea makes Hubby a little uneasy and he will probably push for the hospital route if he doesn’t feel comfortable.
Aww, I think if my first birth experience had been wonderful, I would have been concerned about not getting something as awesome the second time around, too. As you know, my first experience was terrible (even post-delivery, the nurses were awful, they read my information incorrectly and put Eliza under jaundice lights because they thought she was 3 weeks early, etc. etc.), so I was afraid for a different reason. But as you mentioned bringing God into the equation, I really felt God’s presence – BECAUSE I HAD PRAYED FERVENTLY FOR IT AND WAS SEEKING IT – during Zach’s delivery. He knew my fears (as I had detailed them to Him so many times) and gave me peace to know everything would be okay no matter how it went. My nurses were great, and the on-call OB from my practice (whom I had never met) was amazing. While I pushed, Greg gave her our back-story and she massaged me and slowed down the process so Zach could come out as easily as possible. I had no tearing and no drugs. And my recovery was amazing. The nurses asked what they could do for me, and I said that honestly, I just wanted them to leave me alone unless they absolutely had to do something. And they listened and it was awesome. My theory is that with a second baby, hospitals in general are more lax. So fear not! Of course, from my personal experience, I would say having medical personnel right there is a good thing in case anything goes wrong. 😉