A Heart More Focused

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On 9/11 words are hardly enough.

September 11, 2011 By Erika Zane

11 Sep

Wow. I can’t believe it’s already been 10 years.

Yes, my life was much different then – I was beginning my life as an adult away from my parents and now I’m a mother – but the reality of it all is just as raw to me today as it was then.

This day 10 years ago was the the first month of my freshman year of school at Virginia Tech and, for the first time in my life, I was living on my own. My new home: a large school in a small town more than an 8 hour drive away from my family in NJ.

I woke up to the phone ringing after the first plane hit NY. My first class was at noon, so I was in no rush to get up. At least until that call came through. My long distance high school boyfriend was calling to find out if I knew what was going on. My roommate and I were shaking as we turned on the TV.

One of her parents worked at the Pentagon and my uncle worked in finance in NYC. We both tried, unsuccessfully, to get through to our families for hours. We were a collective mess.

Today, as I watch the 9/11 memoirs and tributes on TV, I find myself just as much an emotional wreck. Maybe it’s because I can now also see that day from my mother’s perspective as she desperately tried to contact her first born child, knowing she couldn’t comfort or protect me. Or, probably, even more because I can only begin to imagine the anguish of the mothers who lost their babies that day.

Today, as I sit here with tears in my eyes, my heart goes out to the families of everyone lost that day and every day since, fighting for our freedom. God bless this country as we continue to heal.

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Filed Under: Life, life changes, motherhood, Parenting Tagged With: 9/11, Tragedy

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Comments

  1. Charise @ I Thought I Knew Mama says

    September 11, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    It’s impossible not to remember every minute of that day, it seems. Thank you for sharing! <3
    Charise @ I Thought I Knew Mama recently posted..Honoring 9/11

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About me

Hello and welcome.  It’s been a while.  For Lent this year I decided to fast from the thing that took too much of my attention from what is truly important: Social Media.  Though there are countless amazing benefits to Social Media, after about a month offline so far, there are seemingly just as many negatives.  I never realized how much of my brain had been hijacked by it.  I’ve had so many revelations about how much easier it is to move forward when I’m not constantly reminded of the past.  But I still want to record my family as they grow at this ridiculous speed and, I’m realizing, so many of our family’s memories are here.  Those along with so many of the struggles and stages we’ve worked through.  Maybe in the midst of COVID19 isolation and my kids around me so often, I’m brought back to a time when they were too young for school and with me so often.  Writing here during that time helped make up for the limited adult conversation in my days and the overwhelm provided by my… little treasures 😉 My husband, fur babies, three fiesty kids, and I hereby extend an invitation to visit this little sneak peak into our life. We’re super flawed and broken and there aren’t too many dull moments around here.  And I promise it’s not always as magical as some of my golden hour, sun-soaked images would suggest.  There’s usually too much coffee in my system and we welcome all the prayers.  Come on over if you want to process with me.

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