A Heart More Focused

I realize we don’t live in the dark ages, but…

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Com’mon people!

I don’t understand some of the questions I get when I say I had an unmedicated birth and I’m planning to have another. 

(I’m not going into the preconceived ideas about home birth right now.  That’s a whole other post.)

Yes, I understand my super short birth story doesn’t make me an expert on labor.  I realize that most women do not have first birth stories like mine, where, after sleeping through seven hours of early labor, I got up, active labor began, and three hours later I had a baby.  I know: not fair.

I still, however, don’t understand how people can ask questions, without knowing my birth story, like, “How did/will you possibly deal with the pain?”.   As my mom always says, “Women have been giving birth for thousands of years without medication.” Our bodies were built for labor (under normal, low risk circumstances).  Labor isn’t pain free or easy, but our bodies do have built in pain management mechanisms and, if we can quiet our minds enough not to panic, its entirely possible to get through labor without medication if things are going smoothly.  Even, as was the case for my mom when she labored with me, when labor goes on for 12 hours with two to three hours of pushing a baby facing “sunny side up”.  Smoothly does not necessarily mean quickly, which I think society has taught us.

It’s not for everyone and I understand that “managing” to get through hours of labor doesn’t sound enjoyable or worthwhile to many.  The thing is, at the end of that labor, is this enormous release of endorphins and love hormones.  It’s the most amazing high ever.  It’s a euphoria that is unique to drug-free births.  The body only releases endorphins when it feels pain and, if the pain is stopped, fewer endorphins are released.  There are studies to prove it, but I think it’s common sense.

(If you’re interested, a good resource on the hormones involved in birth is Michel Odent.)

Obviously, every woman has a different pain tolerance and sometimes things happen where a woman has to have an epidural.  How a woman manages her pain during birth is in no way a measure of her maternal strength or ability OR some sort of indicator of her success in birthing her baby.  Sorry, but those are just insane ideas.  Every woman who has a baby, by any means, deserves lots and lots of praise and will feel an overwhelming amount of joy and love for her new infant.

My point is, why is it crazy for me to want a natural birth?  I think I am entitled to a drug-free birth without necessitating a label of crazy lady.  What do you think?

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  1. YES.

    I can’t tell you the number of looks I got when I would say I was having a drug-free birth. Even after I did it, when people ask me about it I still get the “well, I’m glad it all worked out”. Worse yet, I get people who make comments about birth not being a competition or that they didn’t feel like they had to prove something with their birth, as if I did.

    I made the choice for reasons I am sure are similar to yours. The body is amazing in what it does naturally. Was labor easy? No. And I was in ACTIVE labor for over 24 hours. Would I do it again? Most definitely. It doesn’t make me crazy. It doesn’t mean I am trying to compete with anyone.
    Amber recently posted..Why I Don’t Call Myself an Author

    • OMG… I can’t even count the number of times I’ve gotten the “well, I’m glad it all worked out” comment. I get the competition thing a lot, too.

      I feel like everyone woman wants to share her birth story. It’s a major part of each of us and we shouldn’t have to keep our unmedicated stories to ourselves because it might make someone feel bad. It shouldn’t make anyone feel bad.

      Wow, 24 hours is probably the longest I’ve heard yet. That’s really cool!

  2. I was JUST having this conversation with my sister the other day. We have both had 2 babies each, without medication. My sister wanted to know why they don’t show those bith stories on TLC anymore, just c-sections and epidural stories!

    My labor was so painful and long with my first that I was terrified for a second baby. But I did it anyway.

    I’ll do it again next year too 🙂
    Teresa recently posted..what a beast.

    • I feel like they’re trying to terrify all women or something with the birth stories TLC shows. I can’t watch that show.

      Thank you for the inspiration with my second one coming 🙂 Short births are a bit traumatic actually, so I was a little scared for the second until recently. It’s nice to hear success stories from women who did it twice.

      Next year, huh?! Congratulations! 🙂

  4. Congrats – and good luck with your second home birth! 🙂 I had #4 at the end of September – my fourth homebirth, and our first planned unassisted homebirth. I have several painful medical conditions that make my labors very long and quite painful, and transition itself lasts for 3-4 hours. But, thanks be to God, there has been nothing that has threatened the health of my baby or myself (besides my first birth, which the midwives handled professionally) and I am PROUD of what I’ve accomplished!! 🙂 Our unassisted homebirth was the best yet – and I’ve come to realize that a “good” birth does not mean easier or less pain, but rather it’s all about the whole experience… for us, this was a bonding experience of bringing forth our baby alone, together with God, just as it was when he was conceived. 🙂 Even though my labor lasted over several days and the baby was sunny side up, when it was all said and done, I wouldn’t have changed a thing that we did and I can look back on his birth as my first truly positive birth experience. Praise God!! 🙂

  5. One of the reasons I switched from a Doctor to a Midwife (at 30 weeks) was because “my Doctor” wanted me to have an epidural, he didn’t understood me maybe he though I wanted one because I was young and didn’t understand what a birth plan was or didn’t have a clue on what I was getting into, I felt like he only care about how much money he was gonna make with me. I knew it was gonna be painful but I wanted to experiment a natural drug-free birth and guess what I had an spectacular experience and I’ll do it all over again

    • Yeah. I have to say that’s my biggest problem with epidurals: that I feel like drs and nurses push them because they make their lives easier rather than being necessarily better for the patient.

  7. Everything I’ve chosen to do with my child, from natural childbirth to cloth diapering to not using a pacifier, has been viewed my most friends, family, and strangers as a weird form of torture. As if I’m backwards because I “refuse to take advantage of modern inventions”. But I know what I’m doing and I’m happy with how it’s working for our family, so I try to ignore the rude looks and comments. I do, however, get uncomfortable when people say things like “Wow, you are so amazing you could handle birth without medication” because I women have been doing it for thousands of years and I don’t think I did anything that amazing for incredible (well, birthing a baby is amazing and incredible, but I don’t believe the credit can really be put on me personally).
    Mandi @ Catholic Newlywed recently posted..Guest Post at Letters from Momma: Pacifier: To Use or Not to Use