Inquisitive pretty much defines the kind of child I was. Starting at a very young age, I remember my mom telling me about her undeniably magical experience with it.
If ever there was a mother who could really prepare her daughter for motherhood and all it’s glory, it’s my mom (along with many other women out there, I’m sure). When it came time to prepare for my first baby, I knew, without a doubt, Little Man would receive only breast milk (barring any complications). It wasn’t really a choice or decision as I saw it. Just a given. What didn’t I know? Just how incredibly satisfying and magical I would find it and for how long I would keep it up.
I’m not going to lie. In the beginning there was frustration and pain. Cracked nipples and in the first six months, three or four cases of mastitis (I kinda lost count).
Wait. Ok, before you stop reading and vow never to breastfeed, you should know: it was worth it AND I probably could have prevented two of the three cases of mastitis by taking things a little more slowly, eating well, drinking more water, and getting more rest. Moving into a completely different living situation (from an average suburban home to a tiny, badly designed, urban apartment) at the exact same time I was trying to transfer LM from our bed to a crib, brought much stress and eventually depression into the equation.
Anyway, I never thought I’d breastfeed LM past a year. Never ever. Not in one million, zillion years. I fully intended to wean LM no later than a year. I refused to be that “weird” mom who popped her boob out for her toddler at the playground to have a snack. I didn’t find it weird, I just knew others did.
When Little Man turned one, though, he was still so little and still so attached to breastfeeding. At that point, he was only nursing three to four times a day, we both knew exactly what we were doing, and it was extremely convenient on our vacation in Jamaica (we were there for the week of LM’s 1st birthday) to always have a snack available when all I had on me was a bathing suit.
Since then, I’ve continued to breastfeed and I’m still going strong. I tend to avoid publicly breastfeeding now because he doesn’t really allow for discretion and I’m a pretty modest person. He wants full access, which would mean flashing the whole world. I might be more inclined if I felt people weren’t already so squeemish about it, but that’s not a battle I want to fight on a daily basis.
So, here we are, six days from LM’s second birthday. As I nursed him before his nap and I watched his little tightly wound toddler body slowly submit to his exhaustion and relax, I realized how thankful I am for this. How thankful I am to God for my body’s ability to provide for my child, for giving me the strength to make it through the tough times, and for leading me to a community of RL and online friends who support extended breastfeeding. It’s a beautiful thing and I really wish it was celebrated more in this country. I wish the message spread by public figures and media wasn’t that breastfeeding is a nice choice, but not important. I wish breastfeeding a toddler wasn’t portrayed as something only those “crazy, hippies with nothing better to do” do.
I realize how hard breastfeeding can be in the beginning, but I just pray more woman come to know that, if you can hold out, it’s really worth the dedication. It’s a miraculous thing and shouldn’t be taken so lightly.
I know what you mean. My daughter is 2.5 and both her and I are shy to nurse anywhere but the privacy of our home, for fear of offending someone. My mom and sisters all tell me “Gross! She’s too big!” but her and I will know when we’re done. Thanks for writing this!
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I don’t understand how the response can be gross, except that they just really don’t know what it’s like. I mean, it’s definitely the message that’s put out there over and over again in movies and sitcoms. But, it’s so beautiful to connect with a toddler on that level. The security and peace it brings to their often moody temperament is amazing! I’m so glad this post spoke to you. Thank *you* for commenting. Even though I know I’m not alone, it’s nice to be reminded.
Thank you for posting this. Jonas is approaching 2.5 and is still breastfeeding. I know it’s healthy for him, but I do find that even those that were once supportive of my choice aren’t anymore. I fully intended to wean before this, but it just doesn’t feel right yet.
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Yeah! It’s like there’s a time limit people have in their heads, and if you go past that, there’s something wrong with you. Thanks for sharing your experience with Jonas.
I agree! Baby is 18 months and I really feel like his strong immune system is mostly due to extended nursing.
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I totally agree! If I hear one more time “I know plenty of formula fed babies who are perfectly healthy and breastfed babies who are sick all the time” I’m going to explode. That is the least scientific approach I’ve ever heard in my life AND just think how much healthier the formula babies could have been and how much sicker the bf’d baby. Ok, done ranting now 🙂
Anyway, I’m so happy to have found such a supportive community of bfing moms! Thanks for your comment!
Amen!!! I just red this while breastfeeding Matteo for bed 😉 Miss you!!!!
Hi Erika,
I subscribe to your post & the title caught my attention. The topic wasn’t what I expected although I found it very touching. As you know I don’t have children & feel parents & families try to make the best decisions for their children. I agree society has placed the limit of about 12-18 months as acceptable. After reading this I know they’re missing out on so much more. Continue to challenge the “norm” & educate our peers. If we weren’t suppose to be breast feeding after this time women’s bodies wouldn’t do it. I completely support you all in this journey & hopefully this article & others not to mention all of you will change the way for the next generation.
Thank you Suzie! Your response was exactly what I needed to hear 🙂