Teenage Self Esteem And Social Pressures

By kotoire via Flickr

I don’t want to come across as a prude, but is it really necessary for young woman to “come-out” as sex icons as soon as they hit 18?  Well, even if I am, I don’t think my feelings on this subject are exactly prudish.

I’m not talking about celebrities, although that’s relevant too.  I mean the pressure on every adolescent girl to represent herself as sexy as soon as she’s ready to head to college.  As if that’s not a confusing enough time.

I don’t watch the Today Show on NBC very often these days, but I turned it on in our room yesterday morning for a few minutes before Little Man woke up.  {Yes, I’m blessed with a sleeper.  I’m sure the rest won’t last when the next one arrives, so don’t you worry ;).}  Matt Lauer was interviewing a senior in Colorado, Sydney Spies, who submitted modeling photo as her senior portrait.  Their yearbook committee is student run and it’s, apparently, illegal for the high school administration to get involved.  {I’m not sure how they pulled that one off, because I’m pretty sure everything we did in high school was heavily monitored and influenced by teachers and/or administration, but anyway.  That, and we only had one or two choices of poses for our senior picture.}

You’ve probably already heard this story, but the committee accepted the photo one day and then rejected it the next.  Conveniently, the administration had called a meeting with the Principle of the school in between those two days.  Sydney was upset because she felt everyone else was allowed to use photos that represented their interests, whether basketball, field hockey, or cheerleading.  She also felt her photo was artistic.

I want to support her.  I really do.  I remember being very frustrated by how little control we had in high school.  But, it sounds to me like they already have quite a bit of independence in that school system.  Plus, since when is modeling an extra curricular activity?  It’s a profession, sure.  But hobby or interest.  I just don’t know.

Then there’s the part about her pictures being artistic.  Sorry, but they aren’t.  Not in my opinion.  I’m not an “expert”, but I love art and I know an artistically done photo even if it’s suggestive or sexy.  But neither of her pictures fit that bill.  I’ve seen nearly identical, blatantly seductive and suggestive poses on facebook and in sports magazines million and one times.  But you can judge for yourselves:

I felt the same pressures to be sexy at a young age.  And when I think about all the time I wasted thinking that was so important it makes me sad. I didn’t truly discover anything about myself until I got past that stage.

The concern I have is that this debate will add to the pressure teenage girls already feel to represent themselves as sexy at such a young age.  Especially if they eventually cave and allow the picture.  An eighteen year old girl has every right to dress and represent herself however she wants.  Unfortunately, I don’t feel like dressing and posing seductively helps a young women really express herself or find herself any faster, for that matter.  In fact, I think it delays self-discovery because it puts the focus on how other people see that girl rather than taking the time to figure out how she sees herself and who she really is beneath the surface.  It would be different if this need to be sexy was self-inflicted, but it’s not.  Not in my opinion.

I may not have a daughter, but I’m still concerned for the young woman of today and the future.  I also care that my son will interact with intelligent and secure young women who spend time getting to know and growing into themselves and don’t feel the need to expose themselves to attention they can’t, and shouldn’t really have to, handle.

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