A Heart More Focused

  • Home
  • About

Teenage Self Esteem And Social Pressures

January 10, 2012 By Erika Zane

10 Jan
Is That…Me?

By kotoire via Flickr

I don’t want to come across as a prude, but is it really necessary for young woman to “come-out” as sex icons as soon as they hit 18?  Well, even if I am, I don’t think my feelings on this subject are exactly prudish.

I’m not talking about celebrities, although that’s relevant too.  I mean the pressure on every adolescent girl to represent herself as sexy as soon as she’s ready to head to college.  As if that’s not a confusing enough time.

I don’t watch the Today Show on NBC very often these days, but I turned it on in our room yesterday morning for a few minutes before Little Man woke up.  {Yes, I’m blessed with a sleeper.  I’m sure the rest won’t last when the next one arrives, so don’t you worry ;).}  Matt Lauer was interviewing a senior in Colorado, Sydney Spies, who submitted modeling photo as her senior portrait.  Their yearbook committee is student run and it’s, apparently, illegal for the high school administration to get involved.  {I’m not sure how they pulled that one off, because I’m pretty sure everything we did in high school was heavily monitored and influenced by teachers and/or administration, but anyway.  That, and we only had one or two choices of poses for our senior picture.}

You’ve probably already heard this story, but the committee accepted the photo one day and then rejected it the next.  Conveniently, the administration had called a meeting with the Principle of the school in between those two days.  Sydney was upset because she felt everyone else was allowed to use photos that represented their interests, whether basketball, field hockey, or cheerleading.  She also felt her photo was artistic.

I want to support her.  I really do.  I remember being very frustrated by how little control we had in high school.  But, it sounds to me like they already have quite a bit of independence in that school system.  Plus, since when is modeling an extra curricular activity?  It’s a profession, sure.  But hobby or interest.  I just don’t know.

Then there’s the part about her pictures being artistic.  Sorry, but they aren’t.  Not in my opinion.  I’m not an “expert”, but I love art and I know an artistically done photo even if it’s suggestive or sexy.  But neither of her pictures fit that bill.  I’ve seen nearly identical, blatantly seductive and suggestive poses on facebook and in sports magazines million and one times.  But you can judge for yourselves:

I felt the same pressures to be sexy at a young age.  And when I think about all the time I wasted thinking that was so important it makes me sad. I didn’t truly discover anything about myself until I got past that stage.

The concern I have is that this debate will add to the pressure teenage girls already feel to represent themselves as sexy at such a young age.  Especially if they eventually cave and allow the picture.  An eighteen year old girl has every right to dress and represent herself however she wants.  Unfortunately, I don’t feel like dressing and posing seductively helps a young women really express herself or find herself any faster, for that matter.  In fact, I think it delays self-discovery because it puts the focus on how other people see that girl rather than taking the time to figure out how she sees herself and who she really is beneath the surface.  It would be different if this need to be sexy was self-inflicted, but it’s not.  Not in my opinion.

I may not have a daughter, but I’m still concerned for the young woman of today and the future.  I also care that my son will interact with intelligent and secure young women who spend time getting to know and growing into themselves and don’t feel the need to expose themselves to attention they can’t, and shouldn’t really have to, handle.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.
0 Shares

Filed Under: Parenting, values

« Little Man’s 2nd Birthday
Wordless Wednesday: Such A Big Boy »

Comments

  1. Amber says

    January 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    I completely agree with you on the pressure to be “sexy” at a young age. (I put sexy in quotes, since I am referring specifically to the idea that a girl has to be provocative to be sexy.) I don’t think photos like this should be part of a high school yearbook for the same reasons you state.

    However, I have to wonder what the school’s cheerleading uniforms look like. I remember my high school established a dress code that stated that your shorts could not be shorter then where your finger tips touch your legs, yet the cheerleaders barely there skirts that were worn every Friday were allowed.

    I can understand the girl calling “no fair” if this is the case there.
    Amber recently posted..Tuesday Treats: Burning Out the Sick

    • Erika @NaMammaSte says

      January 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

      good point… I also don’t think the dance moves high school cheer squads perform are usually appropriate yet somehow everyone looks the other way there, too. I also agree that provocative and sexy are a little different, and really provocative is the issue I meant to stress here.

  2. Lexi says

    January 10, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    I dont want to sound like an old person but I think this is all down to the ott celebrity worship cuture that is going on at the moment and thing are getting worse every day. Its total madness.

    (Also, just so you know, you would be allowed to show the image on your blog without worrying about breaking any laws as long you called the image from their site, you will only get in trouble if you copied it and hosted it yourself….. more madness!).
    Lexi recently posted..discount code review

    • Erika @NaMammaSte says

      January 10, 2012 at 8:41 pm

      I agree.

      Thanks! I updated it! 🙂

  3. Peter says

    January 17, 2012 at 6:03 am

    Self esteem teenage girls can be a confusing thing for many people, and in my experience it is usually girls and women who have the most issues with it so girls, this article is for you!
    Peter recently posted..best new video games

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Flickr
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

About me

Hello and welcome.  It’s been a while.  For Lent this year I decided to fast from the thing that took too much of my attention from what is truly important: Social Media.  Though there are countless amazing benefits to Social Media, after about a month offline so far, there are seemingly just as many negatives.  I never realized how much of my brain had been hijacked by it.  I’ve had so many revelations about how much easier it is to move forward when I’m not constantly reminded of the past.  But I still want to record my family as they grow at this ridiculous speed and, I’m realizing, so many of our family’s memories are here.  Those along with so many of the struggles and stages we’ve worked through.  Maybe in the midst of COVID19 isolation and my kids around me so often, I’m brought back to a time when they were too young for school and with me so often.  Writing here during that time helped make up for the limited adult conversation in my days and the overwhelm provided by my… little treasures 😉 My husband, fur babies, three fiesty kids, and I hereby extend an invitation to visit this little sneak peak into our life. We’re super flawed and broken and there aren’t too many dull moments around here.  And I promise it’s not always as magical as some of my golden hour, sun-soaked images would suggest.  There’s usually too much coffee in my system and we welcome all the prayers.  Come on over if you want to process with me.

Copyright © 2023 · Custom Theme Designed by Erika Zane · Genesis Framework · WordPress · [footer_backtotop]