A Heart More Focused

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Simplifying my life. Goodbye personal Facebook account.

June 28, 2012 By Erika Zane

28 Jun

At one time, Facebook was peripheral for me.  I lived life and usually forgot about my account.  I’d get on a couple times a week at most.  I loved it.  It was a place to keep my memories and connect with people.  Occasionally.  I always knew when my life was a little slow or I wasn’t getting out enough because I was on Facebook too much.

I don’t know if my last post came across the way I meant it to, to everyone.  I was trying to say that Facebook friends are great but shouldn’t replace real life friends.  If it gets to the point where all your friends are online, I think there’s a problem.

Some people on Facebook had awesome reactions (ha!), but I was “unfriended” by others.  That’s fine.  I liked them, but I’ll be ok.  Plus, it really doesn’t matter at all now that I shut down my account.  It did, however, solidify how I was already feeling: I have absolutely ZERO desire to relive high school.

Does anyone really love high school?  I liked it more than middle school, but I couldn’t wait to get to college.  I never fit in.  I don’t mean that in a “poor me” sort of way.  I know why.  Well, I didn’t really know why at the time, but I figured out later.  I didn’t fit in because I didn’t understand that “fitting in” meant changing something about me.  I wasn’t a leader, but I wasn’t a follower and that left me somewhere between the popular kids and the losers with friends but no real “group”.  Or maybe I was just a loser…

I feel like Facebook recreates high school.  It’s like a chance for all of us who weren’t accepted then to feel accepted now.  That’s my take on it anyway.  I think that’s why it was so hard for me to walk away.  I mean, I had 700 something “friends” on there!  But, today it just kind of clicked: I don’t need the drama.  I don’t want to get on my account everyday and try to figure out who’s mad at me and why.

I’m not better than everyone and I certainly don’t feel above other people’s problems.   It’s actually the exact opposite.  Ask my husband.  He’s beyond sick of me worrying about everyone all the time.  I lay awake at night, every.single.night worrying about other people until my body gets to the point of complete exhaustion and forces my brain to shut down for the night (cue crying baby).  Needless to say, I haven’t been operating on much sleep the past three months.  I’m not Mother Theresa and I fall short all the time, but I am not guilty of thoughtlessness.  Inaction, sure, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care.  It means I’m an disorganized, sleep deprived, disaster who can’t keep up with showers, nonetheless other people.

So I’m taking a break.  I’m not sure if it’s permanent yet or not.  Yesterday, I mentioned taking a step back from Facebook rather than getting off completely, but I lied.  I just needed to shut it down to avoid the temptation to get back on and peek.  I’m still blogging because I like the idea of recording our parenting journey and decisions to reference later.  I also hope it’s occasionally a guide for other parents trying to live a similar lifestyle.  I just need a vacation from my virtual social life so I can live a more peaceful and intentional real life with my toddler and baby for a while.  I’ll probably have a little more fun and maybe even get a little more rest while I’m at it!

FYI, the blog Facebook page is still up and running and I’ll be on there from time to time.

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Filed Under: Family, Friendship, Life

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Comments

  1. Michelle says

    June 28, 2012 at 6:07 pm

    Good for you! Great job of figuring out what YOU want and need! Go mama! 🙂

  2. Marie Duplanty says

    July 2, 2012 at 9:17 am

    It is good to be away from facebook and I feel you have done a good thing. You wont believe me but one my friends lost her job because of excessive use of facebook. She gradually became unproductive and less accountable. I am also thinking about being less on FB.
    Marie Duplanty recently posted..home trainer pas trop cher

  3. mamanaturale says

    July 9, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    Way to go, Mama! I did the same thing a few weeks ago. Maybe it’s been a month. I stopped counting. I’ve never felt so freeee! 😉

    • Erika @NaMammaSte says

      July 18, 2012 at 7:28 pm

      Thanks Jenn! It was freeing for the two weeks it lasted and I definitely have a whole new perspective now. I’m back on, but it’s much less prominent in my day-to-day life 🙂 and I still might get off altogether eventually

      • mamanaturale says

        July 18, 2012 at 8:50 pm

        Well, it was a nice detox then! 🙂

  4. Jamie Galie says

    July 15, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Hey Erika! I was reading your blog about media and friendships and something clicked. I am going thru some family life troubles and problems and don’t really want/need others opinions right now. I shut down my fb account and plan on keeping it off for a while… But had to find ur blog cuz I love reading whatever u write!

    • Erika @NaMammaSte says

      July 18, 2012 at 7:19 pm

      Thank you so much for telling me that Jamie! You made my week :). I hope everything blows over for you soon <3

Trackbacks

  1. Tracking Baby #2′s First Year: 3 Months Old! says:
    July 2, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    […] to my RSS feed, Email updates, or "Like" me on Facebook to stay in the loop. Come back soon!The Facebook decision‘s prompted me to think more about my blog and what I write here.  This post is about a week […]

  2. Site Redesign says:
    July 9, 2012 at 8:57 am

    […] changes I’ve gone through since the birth of Little Hiccup and my recent decisions about my personal use of social media, I’ve decided to both redesign and reorganize/refocus my blog.  I started this redesign over […]

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About me

Hello and welcome.  It’s been a while.  For Lent this year I decided to fast from the thing that took too much of my attention from what is truly important: Social Media.  Though there are countless amazing benefits to Social Media, after about a month offline so far, there are seemingly just as many negatives.  I never realized how much of my brain had been hijacked by it.  I’ve had so many revelations about how much easier it is to move forward when I’m not constantly reminded of the past.  But I still want to record my family as they grow at this ridiculous speed and, I’m realizing, so many of our family’s memories are here.  Those along with so many of the struggles and stages we’ve worked through.  Maybe in the midst of COVID19 isolation and my kids around me so often, I’m brought back to a time when they were too young for school and with me so often.  Writing here during that time helped make up for the limited adult conversation in my days and the overwhelm provided by my… little treasures 😉 My husband, fur babies, three fiesty kids, and I hereby extend an invitation to visit this little sneak peak into our life. We’re super flawed and broken and there aren’t too many dull moments around here.  And I promise it’s not always as magical as some of my golden hour, sun-soaked images would suggest.  There’s usually too much coffee in my system and we welcome all the prayers.  Come on over if you want to process with me.

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