I never understood why my mom cared so much about my sister and me having our own unique interests. I didn’t get why she wanted us to pursue our own separate dreams and not copy each other or compare ourselves… until now. My second just turned five months old this weekend and I already get it. Isn’t that crazy?
Want to know what else? I felt it the second I laid down with Little Hiccup on my chest.
I’d say the second he was handed to me, but anyone who knows my birth story knows why that doesn’t work. I caught him and then I had to get out of the pool and lay down before I could really soak it all in. But you get my drift. Or catch it. Anyway…
I didn’t really understand it at first. I just felt this overwhelming sense of frustration when people told me how much alike my boys seemed. Whether they were commenting on appearance or personality, it just bugged me. When people asked if they were similar, I almost cut them off with my response, “No”. Even when Hubby would compare sleeping habits or colicky-ness, I’d snap, “they’re much different.”
I almost wrote a post a few months ago pondering if my experience with our second child had more to do with me feeling more confident and laid back or his unique personality. I put it off for fear of a lack of coherence in my sleep deprived state. The sleepless nights haven’t really ended yet, but I’m either getting better at functioning or I think I’m making more sense than I am. Sorry if the latter is true! In any case, I think a combination of nature and nurture may be to blame for their differences.
With the arrival of the five month milestone, LH’s personality emerges more and more each day. Every day, I get to learn more about him and every day I realize I’ve known him from the start. Everything from his birth, to his first day out of the womb, to how he nurses is different with this child. He’s one chill dude. But, the fact that I’m rarely able to respond to him as quickly as I could with my first probably plays a part in his chillness, too.
You’d think the difference in his personality would be enough for this mamma, but I still find myself trying to expose their differences to the extent of maybe creating a few that don’t exist. For instance, I refused to acknowledge that they looked anything alike for a while. I give that one up. They do. They aren’t twins or anything, but they definitely look similar.
So why do I do this?
I’m smitten with my first child. I think he’s amazing. I just want my second to get a shot at his own version of amazing. A shot outside of the shadow of my first. I want them to grow up loving and respecting each other for their individual strengths without any sense of bitterness. I don’t want them constantly competing for the same things because I can already tell how different they are.
I love watching their very different personalities blossom. I love that I get to contribute to the lives of two such uniquely special boys. What an incredible blessing.