A Heart More Focused

Breaking free

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Words… They’ve been tough for me lately.

I feel like I found and then quickly lost my voice on here this year.  I don’t know what happened.

No, actually, that’s not completely true.  A LOT happened.  Some pretty major stuff that cut my heart wide open and I’m still working on healing.  A two-fold loss immediately following the birth of LH, which has forced me to reexamine just about everything.

I feel like a big baby talking about this.  I’m a grown woman and I should be able to handle my emotions.  But here’s the truth: I don’t like myself much these days and I haven’t in what feels like a long time.  I have good days and I love my life and I know I’m blessed.  But I’m struggling to give myself grace.

So there it is.  As much as it terrifies me, I had to put it out there to move forward.  Today I reached a point where I realized my refusal admit this is slowly eating a hole in my life.  It’s manifested itself in EVERY part of my life and I need to stop it.  I need to figure out where to go from here.

I want to write from my heart again.  I want this blog to be a place of beauty and not a point of stress.

I do know only God can change my life and I’m working on that relationship.  I’m so grateful that God is changing my heart everyday through the Good Morning Girls study group I’m a part of on Instagram (#gmgcolossians).  I’m so thankful for the accountability and fellowship.  I’m going to start writing about what I’m learning on here, but if you want to keep up with me on Instagram, my handle is @namammaste.

Thanks for listening 🙂

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Comments

  1. Hang in there! Try to give yourself a break, having two little guys is HARD! And you are doing a great job! All you can do is the best you can at the moment, some days it is wonderful, others not so much. I am glad you are finding help with the instagram group. I really believe it is your own strength and ability that will bring you through this, but my main concern is that you pull through and feel better in general, however you are able to! Hang in there! Hugs from CO – M

  2. Praying for you, girl! Your Instagram posts are always so encouraging and I love getting to see pics of your life every day! The Lord is near to the broken-hearted, and I love hearing how He is especially near to you now, even on the most difficult of days.

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