A Heart More Focused

Focusing on love and beauty {#aHeartFitFriday Link-up}

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Do you watch “The Biggest Loser”?

I’ve always tuned in towards the end of the season to see who’s left and watch the last few contestants give it their all.

This season I’ve gotten a little more hooked than usual. I feel connected with and invested in each of their stories.

Do you know what is the common denominator between all of them? I mean the thing that links them together and is the reason they all struggled with their weights before the show.

Self-esteem.

It’s as simple as that. None of them felt they were worth anything. I heard the words fat, lazy, and disgusting so many times in their preliminary videos, before they’d done anything. They just lived every day wallowing in that.

Doesn’t that make your heart hurt?

One if the songs I work out to is called “Wonderfully Made” by Matthew West. I love his entire Into the Light CD, but that song always brings tears to my eyes.  These lines specifically: “You don’t have to wonder, You are wonderfully made, Perfectly beautiful in every way”. Our creator didn’t make a mistake. YOU are beautiful in his eyes and, no matter how disappointed you are in the decisions you’ve made in the past, their is always a chance for a fresh start.

Today can be the day you decide you’re worth it and start loving yourself enough to invest in a healthier you.

I’m trying. Every day, one day at a time, I look in the mirror and focus on my accomplishments and the strong body I was given.  I try to really celebrate every mile I’ve run, pound I’ve lost, and new clothing size I fit into without harsh judgement.

It’s hard! It’s much easier to tear myself down. So often, as I run, I’m yelling at myself in my head for not being faster or for just being so tired. Screaming about how lazy I’ve become.

Do you know what that does?  It sure doesn’t motivate me.  I get home and think, “I f-a-i-l-e-d again“.

Since I started taking Zumba, it clicked that positive encouragement and just smiling throughout a workout does so much more to keep me on the right track. I feel a little silly when I’m out for a run just smiling for no reason, but whatever.  It works!  I tell myself I’m smiling at my ability to overcome obstacles and, really, who’s going to know I wasn’t just smiling because I passed them and I’m super friendly, right? 🙂

Ok, so let me tell you about my week: I decided to weigh myself on Tuesday and then again on Wednesday and I was so excited that I’d hit my goal weight of 155, that I stopped tracking and ate everything I knew I shouldn’t.

You know where this is going, right?

I thought, “I’m getting so much exercise this week and I’ll just keep my portions small”.  Yeah, I still overdid it and gained the weight back.

So, I’m right back where I started this week.   I need to follow my own lifestyle advice!

I haven’t done this in a while, so here are my stats:

  • Height: 5’9″ish
  • Weight: 157lbs (-15 lbs since 1st post, and 20 since joining WW last year)
  • Hips: 39.5″ (-1.5″ since 1st post)
  • Waist: 29.5″ (-1.75″ since 1st post)
  • Thighs: 21.5″ (I haven’t shared this in the past, but that’s -1.5″ total)

What about the charity miles app?

I actually went for a 3 mile run this week, believe it or not!  We actually had some nice weather and I tried to use the app, but it didn’t work for some reason.  boo!  I don’t think it was a signal issue, since I used another app to track the distance. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like I can record that distance (or the distance from my treadmill workout the next day) within the app. If this continues to be a problem, I might have to find a new solution.  I’m going to give it a fresh try this coming week, assuming the weather isn’t terrible.

How are you doing?



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  1. So, we are ODDLY in sync today.

    “Today is the day you decide you’re worth it and start loving yourself to enough to invest in a healthier you.”

    This is precisely what struck me as I wrote my post today. I haven’t been doing this. Which may be part of why I’ve been having such a hard time getting motivated. I beat myself up pretty easily which just leads me to give up quickly (or not even start).

    It made me think of something a friend said to me some years ago when I was having some issues with my health. He told me that if I wanted to give my all (to God/family) how could I do that if I didn’t take the time to take care of myself?

    So, that is my big goal right now. Taking care of myself. Which includes the exercising and eating right.

    [Congrats on your progress! It’s really inspiring for me. 🙂 ]

  2. I love that verse, Psalms 139:14, that says we are wonderfully made. We SHOULD have self-esteem because we are made by God. But that’s easier said than done for most people. I think I have healthy self-esteem, but that doesn’t mean i’ve been happy with my body and the way I wasn’t taking care of it. I feel so much better now. I worked for Weight Watchers for 15 years and I saw so many people with very little self-esteem, and it was so satisfying to be able to help with that. Honestly, though, we should love ourselves no matter what our bodies look like. If we love ourselves first, then it’s easier to take care of our bodies, minds, and souls.

    Erika, as always, you’re an inspiration. And you look GREAT. Maybe in about a month, I’ll feel comfortable sharing a picture of me on my blog. 🙂