I embraced God and immersed myself in His word, but I was refusing myself the forgiveness he offered… so I chopped off my hair.
Wait, that probably caught you a little off guard. Yeah, I’m laughing, too.
I don’t believe God asked me to cut my hair.
I didn’t intend to take a two week hiatus from blogging but, in the past few weeks, I’ve had a lot of thinking time. It occurred to me as I wrote my last post that I’ve spent too much time over the past year trying to be someone other than myself. Someone better. Yes, I was trying to get back a piece of who I used to be, but there was more than that. I think I was trying to go back in time to erase past behavior of which I was ashamed.
It’s ok to aim for better, but my faith in the grace of God should have released me from thinking I should be perfect or that works would earn me redemption. I guess I got stuck somewhere along the way.
I cut my hair because I realized my need for a symbolic act. I wanted to free myself from something physically and freedom from the bondage of long, cumbersome, more easily tangled hair seemed like pretty good symbolism to me. I’m no longer willing to let my baggage hold me down.
Know what? I think it worked. I felt an instant sense of freedom and excitement leaving the salon.
Also? A friend of mine posted this on Pinterest while I as at the salon. If you don’t feel like clicking over, the pin is a quote by Coco Chanel which says, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life”. It seems Coco Chanel was a pretty wise woman.
I’m learning to live for the moment and the joy that God has for me and to let go of everything else. Everything that anyone ever intended for harm has helped me to grow stronger in my Lord. I think that applies to both what I’ve received and what I’ve given.
I’m sorry for any pain and hurt I’ve caused and I believe that I can live a renewed life where the only words that leave my mouth are “helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
Today, I’m leaving the past behind me and moving forward in freedom, grace, and love. That and a fun hairstyle which leaves me much cooler in this summer heat and humidity!