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The sacred act of cutting my hair… or something like that

July 15, 2013 By Erika Zane

15 Jul

I embraced God and immersed myself in His word, but I was refusing myself the forgiveness he offered… so I chopped off my hair.

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Wait, that probably caught you a little off guard. Yeah, I’m laughing, too.

I don’t believe God asked me to cut my hair.

I didn’t intend to take a two week hiatus from blogging but, in the past few weeks, I’ve had a lot of thinking time. It occurred to me as I wrote my last post that I’ve spent too much time over the past year trying to be someone other than myself. Someone better. Yes, I was trying to get back a piece of who I used to be, but there was more than that. I think I was trying to go back in time to erase past behavior of which I was ashamed.

It’s ok to aim for better, but my faith in the grace of God should have released me from thinking I should be perfect or that works would earn me redemption.  I guess I got stuck somewhere along the way.

I cut my hair because I realized my need for a symbolic act. I wanted to free myself from something physically and freedom from the bondage of long, cumbersome, more easily tangled hair seemed like pretty good symbolism to me.  I’m no longer willing to let my baggage hold me down.

Know what? I think it worked. I felt an instant sense of freedom and excitement leaving the salon.

Also? A friend of mine posted this on Pinterest while I as at the salon.  If you don’t feel like clicking over, the pin is a quote by Coco Chanel which says, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life”.  It seems Coco Chanel was a pretty wise woman.

I’m learning to live for the moment and the joy that God has for me and to let go of everything else. Everything that anyone ever intended for harm has helped me to grow stronger in my Lord. I think that applies to both what I’ve received and what I’ve given.

I’m sorry for any pain and hurt I’ve caused and I believe that I can live a renewed life where the only words that leave my mouth are “helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).

Today, I’m leaving the past behind me and moving forward in freedom, grace, and love. That and a fun hairstyle which leaves me much cooler in this summer heat and humidity! 😉

 

 

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Filed Under: beliefs, Faith, Grace, Uncategorized

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Comments

  1. Kristin Cass says

    July 15, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    Woohoo! I made it into one of your posts!

    • Kristin says

      July 15, 2013 at 3:43 pm

      I also totally didn’t mean to post my comment twice, so now I’m REALLY in your post. I’d like to take this moment to apologize for spamming your blog but also to say that I think it’s really wonderful to hear that you’ve let go of those old things you were ashamed of. You can’t change the past you can only learn from it and I’m pretty sure that’s what the Big Guy Upstairs wanted you to see. It takes us all different amounts of time to come to that headspace. I still don’t think I’m completely there but I’m trying!

  2. Kristin says

    July 15, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    Woohoo! I made it into one of your posts!

  3. Lauralynn Elliott says

    July 15, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    And it looks so cute! I do understand the symbolism.

    I think you’re a fine person, and we have to realize that sometimes, although God forgives us, we forget to forgive ourselves.

  4. Dana says

    July 15, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    I love, love, LOVE your new look and all the meaning that comes along with it! It’s so great to “free-yourself” on the outside and the inside….

  5. Teresa says

    July 16, 2013 at 10:06 am

    I know the feeling of a fresh new haircut! You look lovely! Funny how everyone’s steps with God are different. Lol, for me it is the opposite. I am trying to grow mine as I struggle with self control. Whenever I get very upset, I grab the scissors and chop away (at home!). So far, I am staying strong, and have been off fb for three weeks now. That’s been hard. Now if I could stop biting my nails…

Trackbacks

  1. Exciting updates on Wyatt, Dylan, and Photography says:
    July 30, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    […] haven’t posted at all since my hair update two weeks ago (again, really?!?! two weeks have gone by?!).  […]

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About me

Hello and welcome.  It’s been a while.  For Lent this year I decided to fast from the thing that took too much of my attention from what is truly important: Social Media.  Though there are countless amazing benefits to Social Media, after about a month offline so far, there are seemingly just as many negatives.  I never realized how much of my brain had been hijacked by it.  I’ve had so many revelations about how much easier it is to move forward when I’m not constantly reminded of the past.  But I still want to record my family as they grow at this ridiculous speed and, I’m realizing, so many of our family’s memories are here.  Those along with so many of the struggles and stages we’ve worked through.  Maybe in the midst of COVID19 isolation and my kids around me so often, I’m brought back to a time when they were too young for school and with me so often.  Writing here during that time helped make up for the limited adult conversation in my days and the overwhelm provided by my… little treasures 😉 My husband, fur babies, three fiesty kids, and I hereby extend an invitation to visit this little sneak peak into our life. We’re super flawed and broken and there aren’t too many dull moments around here.  And I promise it’s not always as magical as some of my golden hour, sun-soaked images would suggest.  There’s usually too much coffee in my system and we welcome all the prayers.  Come on over if you want to process with me.

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