I’m being a little silly with the title, but since before I had my son I’ve had a very strong opinion about the necessity of breast feeding vs formula feeding.
I haven’t changed my mind that breast is best or that women sometimes give up too easily, but I now have a better understanding of why someone would. Today, I seriously considered calling it quits. Remember two or three weeks ago when I talked about that awful weekend (we lost power, I got sick, we hit tons of traffic going to visit family, AND Dylan got his first real cold)?
I left out the part about getting a milk blister.
I’d never even heard of milk blisters before that weekend, but I quickly learned the meaning.
I almost screamed as Dylan latched on and my breast throbbed with pain. After several minutes of continued sucking and frustration, my breast was still hard as a rock until the blister popped. Basically, I had what looked like regular blister, only instead of blood, there was milk under the skin. So, I’ve been dealing with that popped blister healing over the past few weeks.
The pain of the blister and the words that followed made me feel like a hypocrite: “I want to give up!”
So here I am, as gracefully as possible, dismounting my high horse.
I breastfed my son for two years. Obviously, after the first year, he had whole milk and real table food and stuff but he still nursed for nap and bedtime after a year. We never did bottles or pacifiers. I LOVE breastfeeding and I do think moms give up too soon and also don’t get taught enough about the supply and demand of it all. They think their kids are hungry and supplement therefore ruining the breastfeeding. I have heard of moms not being able to breatfeed and as much as I want to think they were doing something wrong, maybe it truely does happen. I have been blessed to be able to feed both my kids with NO issues. I have friends that wouldn’t even try it because they were weirded ou and there boobs “are mine.”. I had a great experience in my hospital even though it was regular docs and nurses. I wish I was able to try midwives but I had severe pre-e and HELLP so I had no other choice but a c-section and modern medicine or I could have died. The second birth was a repeat C-section but much more natural. I was able to feed her in recovery…I had to wai with my son because his sugar dropped and someone messed up and told me I couldn’t nurse because of the meds I was on (I later found out that wasn’t true). I began breasfeeding the second or third day and that’s all we did from there on out. A nurse told me I didn’t have the right nipples for nursing. We sure showed her :). Glad you are doing well and enjoying it until your milk blister. I had one in the beginning with my daughter.
I got lucky that my hospital, dr, and all the nurses (except one pig) were advocates for bf’ing in a big way. They didn’t wash Bella until later that morning after I had her, she was placed on me immediately, and the only reason she was taken away was because she couldn’t get enough oxygen.
I considered giving up 2 days in. I had milk blisters (2), bleeding and cracked nipples, plugged ducts, and mastitis all in the first 3 weeks. Quite a mess. I’m so glad I hung in there, but even now there are times I think, “2 1/2 more months and I can stop.” Because sometimes it’s a pain, and now Bella pinches and pulls and flings around like my nipples will simply go where ever her head does.
Almost there. 😉
Diana @Hormonal Imbalances recently posted..AP’ing at 9 months – not by choice
After my C Section, baby girl latched on like a pro. Everyone in the hospital was very supportive of breastfeeding, but were uncomfortable with her since we did not give her a bath for a week or more!
Breastfeeding has definitely been a struggle, with cracked and bruised nipples and a baby who wouldn’t open her mouth wide enough and nipple shields and pumping while away, etc. There have only been a few times in our 8+ months of breastfeeding when it worked easily and smoothly. Mostly there has been pain and discomfort throughout, despite latching well and everything working correctly.
It has definitely gotten harder with her being bigger and more active. Feeding when out and about is almost impossible because she is so distracted. Her little fingers have to be doing something, pinching, pulling, scratching, something. Because of this, I really cherish feeding her at night, in bed, because we are both still and calm and we can both go back to sleep easily.
Whenever I’ve complained of the bruises or scratches she now gives me, my Mom says, you can always stop nursing her and then you won’t have those scratches/bruises! Which I find completely unhelpful. Clearly I’ve continued through varying levels of pain and discomfort because I think breastmilk IS that important for her growth and development. Kids do fine on formula, but as long as I can, I want to give her my milk.
I think everyone has a different situation, different baby, different family/support system, and different experience. If you were to decide to stop feeding, it would be just fine, you have fed him for months and he is growing like a weed! And at some point, I think it is important to consider our comfort as well, since it is an experience for the both of us, mama and baby. I think a lot of women aren’t given the support they need, but there are women who just aren’t interested for whatever reason (MY boobs, comfort, modesty, insecurity, etc).
As far as hospital vs non hospital birth, I think the most important thing is that the parents feel comfortable where they are and that they are supported in their wishes. So if that’s a hospital or not, the location doesn’t matter so much as the people who are around them at that time! 🙂
I COMPLETELY understand!! As you know I have had chronic pain since Elli was born. Now that she is a year I find myself thinking…. “maybe it has been long enough” or “if only i wasnt nursing I could_____” I am SO busy now with my business that sometimes I think it would be easier to not have to worry about nursing BUT at the same time I think it MAKES me stop and spend 1 on 1 time with Elli just her and I. Our special time together! 🙂 I am pretty certain I will make it the 2 years I planned on! You can do it too! 🙂
As far as alternative births (not sure I even like that term as its not an alternative to me!) I am ALL for them! I had an amazing home birth and would do it over and over again! A couple experiences I have had with mammas in the last couple days just reiterates the fact that home birth is the way to go for me! The fear tactics that doctors use to convince Moms they MUST have a C-section are so incredibly sad! I just wish that more people would do their research, ask for second opinions and stand up for what they deserve!!!
Sadly, there are those of us who have to give up for medical reasons rather than lack of wanting to. I had fully intended on BF Joshua until he was at least 1 year old. However, at 9 months I found a fairly big lump and my doctor said I had to stop BFing for 3 months in order for the milk to dry out enough so I could have an ultrasound, mammogram and possible biopsy. I was heart broken about stopping BFing but knew it had to be done. Little did i know that Joshua’s morning feeding had been my last. I cried for days. Three months later, I had my tests and luckily the lump was benign. I still think about the last time I BF Joshua and wish I had known it was my last at that time so I could really savor the moment. But at least I have my health and Joshua. oh, ok and my husband is thankful too. 🙂 p.s. I had pumped 2 extra months of milk up to when I had to stop BFing so at least Joshua had breast milk until almost a year old.