I realize I have been completely MIA online lately. My husband and I have been trying to figure out our situation and what action we need to take for the past couple of weeks. I was, yet again, considering going back to work but still struggling with the same feelings that I should be home with Dylan.
Nothing has changed with how much I love spending all day with my baby boy and I LOVE the rhythm we are in right now with awake time, nap time, and bed time. He is a happy and healthy baby who is developing at lightning speed lately! I love that he is so interested in the world and I am starting to see him learn from me (which is just so much fun)!
I think the biggest problem I’ve been having is not trusting in God to be God. Needing to be in control is something I’ve always struggled with. Living in Colorado and getting involved in Yoga really helped me in that department but since moving back east with a baby, I have allowed myself to loose faith and sight of our values.
Andy and I have always said:
- “we DO NOT live to work… we work to live”
- “family always comes first”
- “money and material possessions are not important”
Those are easy statements to make when we weren’t struggling financially, but are so easy to throw out the window when stress hits.
In any case, I need to stick with the decision we prayed about and made with confidence five months ago: I am a smart, resourceful SAHM who, with the Lord’s help, can find creative DIY ways to save our family as much, if not more, money than I would make if I went back to work full-time and put Dylan in daycare. Like a sermon I once heard – I need to think INSIDE the box of what is within my control, and give everything outside of that to God. He helped us set our course, now we need to sail that course with determination!
How’s that for a self pep-talk? 😉