I am a thinker. I spend a lot of time in my head. I spend *a lot* of time mulling things that most people probably don’t think twice about over in my head. I guess that is why I blog.
Today, as I was driving, I had one such thought that I’d like to put out there. I’m a little nervous to put it out there because I’m afraid it might be misinterpreted, but I’m going to be brave. I am less afraid of people thinking I am not normal, because, let’s be honest, I’m not putting one over on anyone…
So, before I tell you what I was thinking, I’m going to let you in on my train of thought: I wrote yesterday’s Sunday Confessions post and realized that part of the reason I worry about my future pregnancy is not the pregnancy itself, but the hormonal roller coaster that might follow. We moved around a lot since Little Man’s birth, so it’s hard to say what exactly was the cause of my feelings of anxiety and mild depression last year, but I know I wasn’t myself and it took me about a year to recreate myself and feel “normal”.
In any case, that brings me to today’s thought: I wonder if the women of generations X and Y are particularly susceptible to depression. I realize this is a touchy subject and I am not a therapist. I just wonder if the way women of our age were raised (to be strong, independent women who can take care of ourselves, without help from anyone), has had an effect on us as mothers. I wonder if there is more pressure on us to be super moms than there were on previous generations.
I have always felt I needed to be the best at everything and it would be a sign of weakness for me to ask for help. I am sure not every woman feels this way and I am in no way suggesting it is any one person’s fault but my own that I put that pressure on myself. (This is also something I am working on and feel I have vastly improved upon over the past few months.)
I just wonder if society puts more pressure on mothers today than it did in the past. I know the older man I spoke with at the playground a few weeks ago thought so. He said, in no uncertain terms, he thinks (and apparently his wife agrees) mothers today have more pressure on them than his wife did forty or so years ago.
So, what do you think? Do you feel there is more pressure on you than there was on your mom or grandmom? Or, if you’re from an older generation, do you feel your daughter or granddaughter has more pressure on her than you did? Or am I completely off base here? I would *love* to hear your thoughtful and considerate thoughts on the subject.
Also, on a completely different note, Rachel (from Cool Bean Mommas) gave me a Versatile Blogger award a couple of days ago and I don’t want her to think I forgot about it. Thank you Rachel! Check back tomorrow when I will share seven things about myself and pass the award along!
Interesting idea and I think worth exploring. There’s a lot that springs to mind about it as a worthwhile hypothesis. Will you write more on this do you think?
Zoie @ TouchstoneZ recently posted..This Week’s Warm Link Hugs- June 5
Thanks for your feedback! I’m not sure if I will or not.
I just never thought it would be so hard for me to adjust to motherhood before I had my son and now, I’m left wondering what about the adjustment was so difficult for me. I know moving was a huge part of it, but I think that my loss of identity had something to do with it too. I spent a lot of time and effort working on defining myself as a strong, successful, independent woman and becoming a mother, in many ways, shattered that identity because my life is no longer just about me.
This was a really thought provoking post. I feel like in some ways, I lost part of my identity as a woman when Bella was born. That my whole world was so wrapped in poop and feedings that time for me, and time for Sam, were put on the very far back burner.
Also – I do think there probably is more pressure on moms today. I know because of the field I worked in and our decision for Sam to be the breadwinner (and my decision to finally let him be the head of our home) it took a lot of stress off me as a mother. In the work/accomplishment regard anyway.
I no longer feel like I did 9 months ago about life. But that feeling of joy came with a high price of almost ripping our family apart. And not everyone has our situation.
I think working moms are perhaps more susceptible to these feelings (at a deeper level, or more frequently) – but I could be wrong. I just can’t imagine trying to be mom and work. Boggles the mind.
Diana @Hormonal Imbalances recently posted..Sunday Confessions- I hate drains
I know what you mean. I think letting Hubby be the head of our household was a big part of the initial struggle for me too. I also agree that there is probably more pressure on working mothers, though, as a SAHM, I feel there is unspoken pressure on me to “do more” with my time at home. Whether real or imagined, I’m learning to better cope with those expectations (well, ignore them really…).