So, I need advice.
Little Man has been an excellent sleeper in his crib since he was about nine months old. As long as his naps and bedtimes were surrounded by the usual routine, he never fought it.
Since around 16 months, bedtime has consisted of a bath, lotion & massage, pj’s, goodnight kisses to daddy and pets, turn on the nightlight and sound machine, quiet nursing time, laying him down in his crib, saying a little prayer with him, telling him how much I love him, giving him a kiss, and saying goodnight. He also always has his favorite blanket, travel sleep sheep, and water along with a few other stuffed animals and other blankets in the crib with him. The routine, since nine months, has always ended with a quiet exit, barring illness or a rough day. That is, until about two months ago.
I am not sure exactly when it started, but it’s been at least two months. It may have even started around the time I found out about the pregnancy. I carry out the same routine, but at the end, when I try to let go of his tiny hand to make my exit, he stands up and throws a fit.
How have I been handling this? I leave the room quickly and run to the monitor where I sooth him through the talk feature and tell him it’s bedtime. For the first month, this method worked wonders within seconds. Now suddenly, I’m talking to him for five minutes before he gives in and goes to sleep.
I don’t understand why he has been happy to take his naps and go to bed in his crib and in his own room up until now. Why suddenly can’t he let me out of his site? Is this a common, age related phase? Or, is it hormonal now that I’m pregnant? Is there something I’m missing?
I’m all for bed sharing, but I’m tentative to go there now. We did up until he was about 4-6 months old. We practiced the family bed until it wasn’t working for us anymore mostly because he was overheating and not sleeping. I’m practically a furnace when I sleep and it’s worse now that I’m pregnant. Even in just his diaper, he was a sweaty mess next to me. That, and I toss and turn a lot more these days.
I would love any advice on how to make bedtime less of a struggle.
Though Cedella has NEVER been a good sleeper we went through a bit of a backwards slide into this territory a couple of months ago too. What helped us was ‘The Sleep Lady’s Good Night Sleep Tight’. She helps to diagnose what the problem may be and go from there. It’s not a CIO method, but rather works with the understanding that through all their different phases and milestones we have to roll with the punches. We co-slept with C until 6 months and while we were ‘homeless’ this summer. It is a wonderful thing for those lucky folks with a massive bed, but it just didn’t work for us anymore either. I got NO sleep and pregnant mamas need to sleep. Good luck! Hope that helps!
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Thank you so much Alexia! I’ll check that book out.
Hmmm. I don’t know. Do you think he’s afraid of something? Like in his room? They are at that age now that things tend to freak them out. For a while Bella had to have the closet doors shut before she could sleep. She’s ok now, but it took a few days to figure out that’s what it was.
We did cosleeping for a while again (night terrors) but it ended up not working for us either. She like the entire bed to herself, which didn’t sit well with either of us.
There are some great books out there (remember the Baby Whisperer? She has a toddler one too I think).
I don’t think it’s a fear thing because he only does it with me. If I go out and daddy puts him to bed or if he sleeps over at my parents, though he still objects, it’s minimal apparently. Not the full out tantrum he throws when I leave the room. I love that he wants me around, but you know. He’s also seemed less interested in nursing before bed lately, so maybe daddy should just put him to bed more often.
I didn’t realize she had a toddler one! I LOVED her baby one. I completely relied on that book to help Little Man get comfortable with his crib in the beginning.
I *think* though I do not know for sure: if I remember correctly from my breastfeeding support groups / lactation consultants – that even though you can still nurse while pregnant, your milk doesn’t taste quite the same. Perhaps he is reacting to that? I know that around 20 weeks it changes for good from milk to the clear stuff. At that point I don’t think he’ll be much interested in nursing anymore. So maybe as that approaches you might think about introducing something new or different into the routine… something to eventually substitute for the nursing. Addison enjoys reading a couple of books with me in the rocking chair before I lay her in her crib. She sleeps on her tummy, and sometimes if she is a little over-tired, I will tickle her back for a few minutes until her eyes drift to a close. Good luck! Hope it gets better soon.
Sorry for my delayed response. Thank you so much for this comment! I had no idea my milk would be changing so early. That is definitely another thing to consider.